8x weird products from Jumbo: how do they come up with them?!

We once made a list of the weirdest products from Jumbo. But times change, and so does Jumbo’s range. Time to make a new list. Which products from the yellow-and-black supermarket are currently making us raise our eyebrows?

Admittedly, Jumbo is also doing a really good job. They recently won quite a few awards, including for their Filter Coffee Aroma, Wapenaer Extra Matured cheese and Cola Zero. But yeah… Sometimes they really miss the mark too. That much is clear from the list below of 8 downright weird Jumbo own-brand products.

1. Caesar spread

For anyone who would happily eat Caesar salad in the morning, afternoon, evening and in between: Jumbo has the solution. Spreadable Caesar salad, for putting on your bread or dipping into. All very well, but aren’t the separate elements of a Caesar salad precisely what makes it so good? The juicy chicken, crisp lettuce, crunchy croutons and perfectly cooked eggs? A look at the packaging of the Caesar spread shows that we’re simply being served a highly processed product, with at least 10 types of E-numbers. Better roll up our sleeves and make it ourselves.

Jumbo Caesar salad, €2.35 for 150 grams

2. Apple pie cheese

It sounds completely insane: apple pie cheese. Cheese that literally tastes like apple pie. Yet it’s a gigantic hit. So they didn’t miss the mark here, because it really is a delicious combination. But honestly: it remains a strange invention. Will cheesecake cheese be coming soon? Or cubes of cheese with chocolate cake mixed in?

Jumbo Apple Pie Cheese, €1.75 for 100 grams (check the current price in store)

3. Avocado pesto

Is this pesto trying to be guacamole? Or guacamole trying to be called pesto? Anyway, it’s best to leave a classic like pesto alone. Of course, you can choose a different nut if your wallet starts crying over those expensive pine nuts. And you can certainly replace basil with spinach or kale from time to time (do it! Delicious!). But don’t add things to something that’s already good on its own. The avocado does nothing for the pesto, except make it a little creamier (as we know from our reliable friends at the Instagram account Livingproef). That’s it. So either make an absolutely fantastic pesto or a killer guacamole.

Jumbo avocado pesto, €2.09 per 100 grams

4. Shaped sausage

We think this is such a silly way to get children to eat. All those extra steps that take place in the factory just to get your child to eat a slice of sausage?! You also really don’t want to know how processed this is. I’m counting plenty of E-numbers again. Is this what you want to give your children? And all for… a slice of sausage?

Jumbo shaped sausage, €2 per 100 grams

5. Hamburger baguette

Our Snackspert had to shed a few tears over Jumbo’s hamburger baguette. A baguette with raw meat that cooks in the oven. Spoiler: the cheddar on top doesn’t care about your oven at all. It simply doesn’t melt. The bread is bad, it’s too salty, and the topping is disappointing.

Jumbo hamburger baguette, €2 for a 195-gram baguette

6. Savory tompouce with Hollandaise sauce

Hollandaise sauce is a golden match with white gold: asparagus. Yet it’s precisely the asparagus that’s missing from this package. There is a sort of vegetable mix in it that you could just as easily add to your pasta bolognese. And you still have to add the ingredients that actually belong with asparagus: eggs and asparagus ham. We find it all rather confusing, and it doesn’t sound particularly tasty. It all seems far-fetched, as if no real decision could be made about anything. Do we want a tompouce, a pasta kit or an asparagus dish? Feel free to figure it out. Who knows, maybe we’re the ones missing the mark spectacularly by not putting this on the Easter table this year. And next year.

Jumbo savory tompouce with Hollandaise sauce, €5.99 per package (920 grams)

7. (Not so) crispy bacon

‘Crispy bacon,’ it says in huge letters on the packaging. I believe these bacon slices become crispy when you fry them in a pan. But the back clearly says that you can also eat them cold. And cold… They really are far from ‘crispy.’ Sorry, but even in the packaging this feels limp and even soggy. And those E-numbers again! Why Jumbo, tell me why!

Jumbo crispy bacon, €2.99 per 80 grams

8. Kip-Mambo salad

What’s ‘mambo’ about a Kip-Mambo salad? Does it contain exotic ingredients? Will you spontaneously start dancing the mambo when you eat it? It contains cooked chicken (that’s the ‘kip’ in Kip-Mambo salad) and mostly lots of (there they are again!) E-numbers. The most exciting spices I can pick out are red pepper, cayenne pepper and chili pepper. Maybe that’s what makes it taste ‘mambo’? It’s a mystery. In any case, I didn’t start dancing the mambo after eating it, so that definitely can’t be it.

Jumbo Kip-Mambo salad, €2.35 for 150 grams

Read also:

• 9x the weirdest products from Albert Heijn
• Common mistakes when preparing bacon (and how to avoid them)
• 10 downright ridiculous supermarket products

Images: Jumbo