Eddie’s Food Grievances: Can We Stop Glorifying French Cuisine?
Adeline (nickname: Eddie) loves food, lots of it and often, both at home and out. Usually, that goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. In the series Eddie’s Food Grievances you’ll read about the latter. If some readers think this is whining, well, so be it. As a precaution, you can stop reading now. For all the other readers: this time Eddie is really kicking sacred cows by airing one of her biggest grievances: the constant glorification of French cuisine.
Sometimes it seems as though, for lack of a cuisine of our own, we simply chose something delicious close to home. More or less the same ingredients, familiar flavours and voilà. Literally voilà, because the whole of Holland sings the praises of French cuisine for its exquisite dishes.
While it’s actually much simpler than that. They serve potatoes, vegetables and meat there too, just prepared a little more chicly. Yes, that’s where the French magic falls apart for a moment. Horreur—let’s just hope no one in France hears this.
Cooked to death
The main problem with French cuisine is that everyone thinks they can make it. That’s how Gerard from Schubbekutteveen (who suddenly calls himself Zjééérááár) ends up thinking he can cook French food. Meanwhile, he cooks the Boeuf Bourguignon completely to death and simply buys the Pommes Duchesse in bags from the wholesaler. The limitless popularity of this complicated cuisine meant that French food flooded our country.
Mangled steak tartare
According to the average search engine, there are at least fifteen French restaurants in every medium-sized city in the Netherlands. Do we really need all those? I propose a limit of three; that’s more than enough. And if you want to eat really good onion soup, you can take the train to Paris. The rest of the supposedly French restaurants mangle the steak tartare right before your eyes.
Fancy carrots
It seems people think: if you cook according to a French recipe, it must be good. Right? Non, merde, non! There’s actually just more to ruin. So please, let’s stop glorifying it, because food isn’t automatically good just because you dump Provençal herbs over it. To produce something even remotely decent, you need to have at least attended a demanding French culinary school. And even then, they’re still just fancy carrots, with ordinary fancy potatoes and ordinary fancy meat.
Disgusting dishes
Do you know what French cuisine actually excels at? Disgusting dishes. Quel? Yes, disgusting. Just think of that revolting andouillette. A sausage made from offal that smells as if you’re rooting around in a rotting pile of food. Also disgusting: organs. You’ll find some kind of organ on every French menu. Down south, for example, they’re crazy about stomachs (?) and glands.
I mean, that really says something about the refined taste of French cuisine. And I haven’t even mentioned that appalling stinky cheese that is even subject to an export ban. That’s all, bon appétit.
Read also:
- Eddie’s Food Grievances: flavour combinations that make no sense
- Eddie’s Food Grievances: those people who don’t like anything
- Eddie’s Food Grievances: the battle with cling film
