Let the stars decide: wine according to your horoscope
You’ve got the wine list in front of you but don’t know where to start? Or are you standing at the liquor store with question marks practically visible above your head? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered: we’ve listed which wine matches each zodiac sign. Cheers!
Aries (March 21 – April 20)
Aries is a trend hopper. They know exactly what’s hip and happening right now, and then pretend they invented it themselves. Are you still impressed by rosé from Provence? Aries knows that’s sooo 2020… What will impress them? A wine from a bizarre wine country such as Georgia or Uruguay is sure to surprise them: they haven’t tried it yet!
Taurus (April 21 – May 21)
Taurus is a passionate wine lover and therefore goes for deep, dark red with plenty of tannin. The kind of wine you can really sink your teeth into. You’ll find it in southern France, for example in Tannat, but you can also do well with a wine from Argentina. Is “intense red” a category in the wine shop? Send your cart in that direction.
Gemini (May 22 – June 21)
Gemini will never admit it, but actually they have no taste at all. Cheap white wine for Gemini, then—and the more acidic, the better. It doesn’t matter if it comes from a carton; they’d even drink it from a jerry can. Check how much loose change you have in your pocket and base your wine choice on that, because Gemini can’t taste the difference anyway.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
Always the perfect hostess. Did you bring wine? Wonderful! They already had some in the fridge themselves—shall we open that first? But don’t be fooled: the bottle of white Burgundy you brought will disappear into the wine rack and never come out again. Cancer is incredibly stubborn and decides for themselves what they drink. Always bone-dry Riesling from Rheingau, by the way—you could have known that.
Leo (July 23 – August 23)
A bit of a luxury kitty, that Leo. They go for quality, and it may cost a little something too. If you’re choosing wine for Leo, you’ll need to pull out your wallet. Avoid risking a bad mood, choose classic French wine from a famous winery in Bordeaux, and you’ll hear them purr with happiness.
Virgo (August 24 – September 22)
Virgo is a true connoisseur. There’s little chance the wine list will end up in your hands when you go out to dinner with Virgo. They choose, taste and determine exactly what you’ll be drinking. Their preferences are quite specific: they only like South African organic blends from small winemakers, for example. Just let them decide—you’re sure to drink something delicious.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Do you remember Libra from their wild years? And are you thinking: tonight we’ll have fun polishing off a magnum of Merlot between the two of us and slowly getting tipsy? Forget it—they haven’t had a drop since that wine tasting that got a little out of hand. Sparkling water, alcohol-free lager and non-alcoholic wine—that’s about the extent of it. Can you still cancel?
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Champagne! Scorpio always has something to celebrate, and of course we toast to that with a festive glass of sparkling wine. Scorpio will drink pretty much anything, as long as it’s real champagne, because they won’t get out of their scorpion bed for prosecco or cava. Pop that cork!
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 22)
You wonder: who still dares order sweet white wine these days? With an ice cube? Let us introduce you to Sagittarius. But you know what it is? That sweetheart can really enjoy sweet racket, and they’re such a darling at every birthday and party that you’ll happily buy a bottle of sweet house wine for them. Tasteless, perhaps—but what can you do?
Capricorn (December 23 – January 20)
Capricorn’s family recipe, which they inflict on everyone every winter: mulled wine. Oh yes, they unashamedly empty a bottle of wine into a pan, add star anise and cinnamon sticks, a little orange peel and a few cloves. And then insist they actually like it too. Seriously, can this stop?
Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)
They go on wine trips, visit tastings and read books about wine. A wine course? Aquarius doesn’t take them—they teach them. So if you want to choose a delicious wine for Aquarius, you’d better ask for advice. Aquarius themselves, that is, because they don’t have much patience for other people’s opinions.
Pisces (February 20 – March 20)
Bravely, Pisces sips their way through the entire wine pairing, but it’s only with the dessert wine and port that you see their eyes light up. Phew, finally something they truly enjoy. Even a glass of sweet sherry goes down in one gulp. Delicious, Pisces—would you like another glass?
