The Great FavorFlav Year Horoscope! What Does 2022 Have in Store for Us Culinarily?
Do you believe in horoscopes? Then you’ll be licking your fingers at our culinary horoscope for 2022. Aries will be making jam next year, Gemini risks food poisoning and Sagittarius is going fully vegan, just you wait! And don’t recognize yourself at all in the text for your star sign? Then check your ascendant, because that always plays a very big role too.
Aries makes it themselves
March 21 – April 20
Next year will be wonderfully domestic for Aries. Making jam, baking cakes and, of course, regularly inviting friends over for dinner or a barbecue in their own backyard. As if the Dutch hospitality industry didn’t already have it tough enough; they shouldn’t count on Aries next year, who’ll be happily having drinks at home.
Plenty of experiments for Taurus
April 21 – May 21
Time to look a little further culinarily than the end of your nose, Taurus. In 2022, you’ll suddenly start experimenting in the kitchen. Taurus discovers Uyghur cuisine, specialities from Uruguay and the surprisingly fresh wines of India. Oh yes, the more exotic, the better for Taurus. And an occasional frikandel for a fright, right?
Be careful, Gemini!
May 22 – June 21
Gemini, be careful. You always casually put all sorts of things in your mouth, but the stars show that this will come back to bite you next year. Maybe you’ll gain kilos, maybe you’ll get food poisoning, maybe you’ll experience the worst hangover ever: whatever happens, watch what you shovel in, because in 2022 great danger lurks there for you.
The bigger, the better for Cancer
June 22 – July 22
Nothing can be too crazy for Cancer in 2022. Giving treats at work? Cancer will arrange a food truck. Drinks with friends? A cocktail workshop, naturally. And dinner? An elaborate meal with all the trimmings. Moderation isn’t on the cards for Cancer; in 2022, they only know the superlative. Go big or go home!
Leo goes travelling
July 23 – August 23
Culinarily, it will be a surprising year for Leo. The stars show a trip; where to is difficult to predict, but it will completely turn everything Leo thinks they know about food upside down. The Slow Food Fair in Italy? Tasting champagne in France? Epic steaks in Argentina? Pack your suitcase, Leo, this is going to be fantastic!
Virgo’s secret revealed
August 24 – September 22
A big secret about Virgo will come out in 2022. Everyone will soon know that Virgo may delicately slurp oysters and drink Chablis in company, but at home they’d much rather eat frikandel rolls and let the Airfryer run, with the curtains closed. Virgo, come on! Don’t be so cowardly! Own your love of fries speciaal and a massive snack with joppie sauce, and the stars will love you even more!
Libra hooks one
September 23 – October 22
Lonely Libras will finally find love in 2022. The spark flies at the bar, when the pink cap of the Flügel appears to be stuck to Libra’s nose and the bitterballen have long since gone cold. After a heated snogging session at the taxi stand (ugh, that taste of second-hand vlammetjes), it turns out this love is here to stay. Happily crumbling croissants together and slurping fresh orange juice in bed. Ah, romance…
Scorpio finally grows up
October 23 – November 21
Great gods, Scorpio, how can you ever survive on your own? You can’t even fry an egg and you can even burn water. You can’t call Thuisbezorgd every night! Time to grow up, time for cooking lessons. And after a few months of practice, you can surprise all your friends (and enemies) with your first homemade meatballs. Chapeau!
Principled plant-based Sagittarius
November 22 – December 22
Sagittarius, always a principled type, goes completely overboard in 2022. One hundred percent vegan, only biodynamically grown vegetables and exclusively recycled grey toilet paper. For their birthday, Sagittarius doesn’t want presents but a donation to the donkey sanctuary in Aruba, and the wine must be natural and unfiltered. But why secretly eat a meat snack at the petrol station, Sagittarius? Hypocritical much?
Capricorn, don’t fall for it
December 23 – January 20
That Capricorn believes everything they’re told too. So in 2022, Capricorn will once again fall for all the offers, discounts and too-good-to-be-true promises. The pasta sauce isn’t actually made by Italian grandmothers, the crisps aren’t really hand-cooked and the wholemeal bread doesn’t actually contain passion and love, Capricorn. Seriously: do you think George Clooney only drinks Nespresso? Wake up!
At last, Aquarius eats at a Michelin-starred restaurant
January 21 – February 19
Saved for months, and finally the time has come: in 2022, Aquarius can go to a ridiculously expensive Michelin-starred restaurant for the first time. New outfit, accommodation arranged nearby (wine pairing!), cookbook tucked under the arm for an autograph: it’s all really going to happen! And despite the enormous anticipation, the dinner is even better than Aquarius had dared to dream. That’s whetted the appetite, so it’s back to saving.
Culinary success for Pisces
February 20 – March 20
In 2022, Pisces’ creativity in the kitchen takes on a professional touch. Are you going to publish a cookbook, Pisces? Or are you finally opening your own home restaurant? The stars see everything going smoothly; great success is on the horizon. Just make sure you don’t get a big head, Pisces, because honestly: some of your recipes are simply nicked from FavorFlav. We don’t mind, we’re proud of you!
